Oh, this story is just too good not to share. Usually I get paranoid that work people will somehow find this blog, but this story must be posted. They'll never prove it's me!
Today, we had our weekly staff update meeting...the meeting I dread the most. It's horrible! Everyone gives updates about what has been going on in their world for the past week. It's boring, tedious, you get grilled by the head of our company about why stuff happens...you get the picture. However, today was different. Today was the best staff update meeting EVER. For a little background, the Head Dude (HD) at my smallish financial services company is an older...I'd say in his later 60's...white, conservative man.
At 8:30am sharp the Head Dude started off with saying, "Hey, Mary, I saw your husband last night. Did he tell you?"Mary:
"My husband? No...where did you see him?"Head Dude:
"Right outside of the office yesterday evening. About 5:30. He told me about his wallet being stolen."This is where I perked up and really started listening.Mary:
"HD, what are you talking about? My husband's wallet wasn't stolen!"HD:
"I'm sure it was him. He came up to me outside the office and said, 'Hi! Remember me! You work with my wife.'"Mary:
"What did he look like?"HD (oh, I'm giggling while typing this)
: "Well...um...he was...like you, you know...he was...African American. So when he said that I work with his wife, I said, 'Mary?' and he said, 'Of course!' He told me that his wallet had been lifted and asked me if I had any money that he could borrow and send back to me with you today. I gave him $20."Mary (now with a look of evil death on her face)
: "So you are telling me that some 'AFRICAN AMERICAN' man came up to you and asked you for money and you ASSUMED he was MY husband based on THAT????"Everyone started squirming at this point, but not one other person said a word.HD (sounding really pissed off now...he's not too friendly)
: "Mary, are you telling me that I gave $20 to a man that wasn't your husband?"Mary:
"I don't know what you did, but I'm telling you that it wasn't my husband that you spoke to!"HD:
"I don't understand!"She Lumberg (yeah, of course SHE was there)
: "Gosh, HD, sounds like you may have been taken."HD:
"Taken?!?! He said he was Mary's husband!"Mary:
"Did HE say that, or did you give him my name first because I'm the only black woman you know?"
A light seemed to go on over HD's head. He turned purple people! Purple! I got that really nervous, butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling as I looked around at all of the shocked/trying not to laugh/too scared to look faces.HD:
"Obviously, there's been a mistake. Let's get started."
After the meeting, we all filed out quietly and went to our respective cells. Immediately, my phone rang and I gossiped with another co-worker about what happened.
HD is actually a really smart guy, but this goes to show...a sucker is born every day...and it helps if he's a stuck-up white guy it seems!