That Curb is Innocent!
Today I was out and about and noticed this guy in the street. Always thinking of BOTS, I snapped his picture with my trusty camera phone. I wasn't sure what was up, but I figured I should just get his pic and at the very least, make fun of his squatting technique.
First, he had a ruler (old school wooden one...remember those?!) and was measuring the curb at the corner. Then, he started taking pictures of it. I was sort of curious, but honestly didn't really give a sh!t so I just stood at the corner waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street. Some guy said, "Hey, what are you doing?" The dude in this picture said, "I'm collecting evidence so I can sue this city into bankruptcy." (Aren't we bankrupt already or did Bloomberg pay off our debts? I forget...anyway...)
The first guy said, "Why? What happened?"
"I fell on this curb and now I'm taking measurements and pictures to bolster my case" the squatter replied.
That was too much for me to resist. "Did you get hurt?", I inquired. "Yes! Of course I got hurt!", he snottily retorted. "It was just last Friday that this happened!" Now, I feel the need to point out that this guy looked no way impeded. He was bending and moving just fine. "What did you hurt?", the other guy asked.
Do you know what he said?
He said....drumroll please.....
"Why don't you two mind your own fvcking business?"
The other guy said, "Hey, fvck you a$$hole! I hope you fall again!" (Pookie and I need to get cards to hand out to guys like this to ask him to join BOTS...I was really proud of him!)
I said, "Seriously, that was really rude. You aren't even hurt you loser. Get the fvck out of the street so people can pass!"
Ah...New York...city of opportunity and fakers!