Thanks Lindsay Lohan...

For making otherwise normal girls look like a$$holes.

When I first saw this girl (who, by the by, was otherwise attractive and was definitely in her early 20's), I was like, "Um....does she have those old lady knee high stockings on?"

But no. She had on nude (I shudder even writing that) leggings. NUDE! Grandma nude. 70's-style, supposed to look like a tan, but actually looks like sh!t NUDE!

So I took her picture and vowed to warn other impressionable people against the dangers of leggings. In addition to that, the dangers of nude stockings of any kind.

They are just wrong, people and we can thank La Lohan for this. Consider yourself
b!tchslapped, Linds!

Sorry it's been so long between posts, but we're working the best we can.

That's total bullsh!t. We're just lazy.

Fifth Avenue...

This is a picture I just took on 5th Avenue in the 40's. You may or may not be able to tell that there are around 8 cop cars (starting with the one behind the bike guy...an undercover number) in this picture flying south down 5th Avenue. They were 8 of like, 30. I kid you not. Full sirens, lights going, and speeding away.

Now, I'm in this area a good bit and I happen to know that this is the norm during the day's shift switch. All the cops run down the street like holy hell has happened, but really, they just want to get the cars to the station (Midtown South I presume) and go home. It is quite a spectacle and causes most people (OK, most tourists) to turn and gasp saying, "Oh my God! What's going on?" If they looked closely, they'd see that the cops are all relaxed and most have big grins on their faces. They know they're they're making people nervous.

I thought I'd snap a picture since I haven't b!tchslapped anyone (except Superman--or Stupidman as I like to call him) in a while.

The dude in the left side of the picture watched me take this shot and immediatly took out his phone and started snapping away. I think he's wearing a rug. Dork.

Happy Humping Day!

Movie Review: Superman Returns (B!tch Should Have Stayed Away...)

Here's a first for BOTS: a movie review. I was so astounded and horrified by the spectacle that is Superman Returns, that I had to write this.

This movie sucked. Big, hairy balls. The story DRAGGED on (this sh!t is almost 3 hours long!), I now hate the whiny and high-school-play-star actress that is Kate Bosworth (look for her in a future B!tches We Hate), and none of the characters were developed enough to wear a training bra!

What was good: Kevin Spacey (although his performance just reminded me of him playing Dr. Evil in the beginning of Goldmember) and Parker Posey because she's a genius and it's not her fault she had a crap part.

It could've been good! I swear! Admittedly, I'm not the superhero/sci-fi movie loving type, but I've enjoyed the original Superman (even though that is totally cheezy, it was entertaining) and all those new Batmans and Spidermans got my thumbs up. But this one....I nearly slit my wrists sitting in that theatre. I would have left, but I was sort of on a date, and didn't want my date to take it too personally.

The worst part is twofold:
1. I say to my date, "That was the worst movie ever. That was just like the Hulk movie." He says, "Are you kidding me? How about those special effects?" Is this guy for me????
2. I immediately text Pookie and say, "Superman blows." She writes back, "I didn't think it was that bad." Huh? So then I call her and say, "Superman was the worst ever." Pookie says, "I liked it!" HUH???????? We ALWAYS like the same movies! Say it ain't so, Pook!

If I had to see that fruitcake float around and look "intense" one more time, I would've puked. It reminded me of all the gratituitous Brad shots in Troy.

L to the A to the M with the E.

That's my review.

On a brighter note, Girls Just Want To Have Fun was on TV yesterday. Now THAT is cinematic perfection!

Finally, Someone Let Me Out of My Cage...

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...


Me and Lil' Kim are back out on the streets and boy does it feel good.


I was going to go gambling, but that's gone to hell, so here I am.


I'll be sure to post my latest adventures as they happen. Until then, happy belated 4th!