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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

You Must Have a Small D!ck...

The guy at the counter you see here was in the sandwich place I went to get lunch today. He started by saying that he wanted focaccia bread. The sandwich guy went to get it, but apparently grabbed the wrong type of bread. "NO!", this guy said, "Not THAT one. It's in the bottom left bin." You can see these bins to the left of this jerk.

The guy behind the counter went to the right of the bins and pointed. "I SAID left!" I guess the counter guy didn't understand because he pointed to the bottom right. "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! Do you even speak English?", the a-hole asked. Then the counter guy started pointing at each bin of bread. "Jesus Christ! There's only ONE left, my friend! It's not too hard to figure out!"

At this point, another guy behind the counter stepped in to help the confused worker. He reached in the bottom left bin and got this d!ck his bread. "BRAVO!", D!ck cried and then he started clapping really slowly. "Hey everyone! Someone in here speaks English and understands what words mean!" Nobody said anything, but my inner BOTS was boiling. I kept my mouth shut and instead took his picture, thinking happily of the nasty post I'd put up about him.

He got his sandwich (I hope the guys spit in it or dropped some of it on the floor first) and then went to pay. I had finished paying by this time and was grabbing some salt, pepper, and napkins. Suddenly, up he comes behind me and reaches RIGHT ACROSS ME to grab a straw. "EXCUSE me!", he barked. As if I was in his way! I was there first, mother fvcker!

I can only take so much, you know? I turned to him and said (in a sugary sweet voice), "You must have a small d!ck." He said, "What the fvck did you just say?" PING! Hairs on the back of my neck started to tingle. "Well why else would you feel the need to abuse random people?" I asked and started for the door. "Fvck you, you stupid b!tch!" he yelled after me. "Takes one to know one a$$hole!", I screamed from the sidewalk. I'm still seething!

This was not a satisfying moment for me, dear BOTS readers. He pissed me off so badly! If I'd had a weapon, I probably would have used it. This man needs a good old fashioned beat down! I can't stand people who think they have the right to demean everyone. What a pompous fvck! I'll bet his d!ck is teeny and that his wife beats him at home. I hope so, anyway, because karma is waiting to take this sucker out!

Is it Friday yet?


At 2:35 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

God, I'm relieved you said something! I was getting dissapointed when you said you didn't at first.

"Must talk so BIG/to make up for smaller things..."

At 5:26 PM, Blogger Virenda said...

Glad you said something. He's a stupid jerk off and I can't STAND people like that.

I sincerely hope they spit in his food because he's one of the few that deserve it.

Sorry you had to be around such a jerk and get so upset. Kinda ruins the whole day.

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Kelly said...

What an ass.
I hate that guy.
Even the back of his head is pissing me off.

At 7:17 PM, Blogger Marcia said...

I'm so proud of you for calling him out on his... small endowment.

I bet it was hard not to punch him!

At 8:31 PM, Blogger v said...

What an a-hole. Glad to see you gave him the special BOTS treatment.

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Kat said...

Sounds like the perfect 'My Name is Earl' episode. I'm sure there is no wifey at home...no woman in their right mind would put up with that crap. I'm sure he uses a lot of lotion, and $10 street whores.

At 6:29 AM, Blogger Zen Angel said...

What a jerk. I'm sure his dick is not only small...it's microscopic.

At 8:09 AM, Blogger Kiki said...

I'm glad you stood up to that guy. What a jerk indeed! Happy Friday!

At 9:24 AM, Blogger gabsmash said...

kat...you have to get BOTS stickers made (with the BOTS link of course!) then you can just walk up to these freaks and slap one on their ass and say, "you just got bitch slapped biaaatch!"

At 3:37 PM, Blogger MizRo said...

Gabs!! *hug*

BOTS: I just dropped by and must tell you, I love you.

I find it very difficult to NOT say things to the rude, arrogant and obnoxious in NY. Kudos!

At 6:31 PM, Blogger FatMom said...

Absolutely that guy had a microscopic d!ck. Otherwise, why would he be so angry? Great post, BOTS.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger SarahReznor said...

good for you ! i hate those fuckers! one of the things i love about israel is if anyone ever acted that way the guy behind the counter would beat the sh!t out him and the boss would tape it for later!

At 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was the best on the spot zinger I've heard in a while and you're a rockstar for having the guts to say it! :) I was heated just reading the story...I'm still mad about it, probably will be pissed about it tomorrow too...jackasses like him should be illegal or stoned. Either way, props to you.
I wish we had a face pic of the mini-dick b/c I wanna know when this fvcker is coming my way :)

At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Kat said...

This was one of my all-time favorite posts. You kick ass.

What a f**khead!

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

never be an asshole to restaurant workers. you'll end up with pubes in your food.


the girlfriend of a chef

At 4:27 PM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

p.s. two things:

you rock

and pencil dick, fo sho.

At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Starshine said...

Wow, you've got balls, I thank you for being all bubbly with your comment. That is awesome!

And obviously, he really must have a small penis, cause a guy with that type of attitude AND a penis that is not small would have totally whipped it out and say some stupid remark like, "Bitch, it isn't small!" and then clap slowly to himself while saying "I've got a nice dick."


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