This post was inspired by our friend over at Help Me Bubba. I was hesitant to foray into the arena of bathroom posts, but she really helped me overcome that with her witty (albeit graphic) post regarding a bathroom situation. So today, I bring to you....The Sh!tter.
The Sh!tter is a woman that I work with. She's older. Not too old. Around 50 maybe. Any time I go into the ladies room at work, she's in there. Doing her business. Loudly. Smellily. Disgustingly. I don't know what her health issue with this is (I know there must be one...no one sh!ts that much!), but it's really annoying.
If I happen to go to the ladies room and find it empty, I can rest assured that The Sh!tter is not far behind and will soon join me.
She has no bathroom couth.
Now, I have some personal bathroom etiquette that I abide by and I'd like to pass this wisdom on to you:
- If someone is in the last stall (the sh!t stall), leave them be. Even if it is The Sh!tter, who is ALWAYS in the last stall. Get in and out as fast as you can. Do not stay in the bathroom talking or doing your hair or makeup.
- Do not get into an empty stall beside an occupied stall. Leave at least one stall in between. We all like a little privacy.
- If the bathroom is, shall we say, pungent, don't remark on it. See rule 1 re: getting in and out. I was victimized by The Sh!tter once again a few months ago and after she left, another lady came in and said, "Ew! Did you do that?" Um.....WHAT? Even if I did, are you kidding me asking that???
- If you are the creator of the pungent smell, utilize the oft forgotten courtesy flush (or flushes if you have to). It really does make a difference.
- If you need to go...I mean GO, and there is someone else already in there, do NOT start your process. You must leave and wait for that person to exit. Nothing ruins private time like a Mexican standoff (nothing racist here, just a saying) in the bathroom...seeing who gives in first just leads to awkwardness.
I'd love to get all BOTS on The Sh!tter, but it's not my place. The ladies room is a strange universe where even this B!tch must abide by certain mores. I would also love to leave a can of Lysol or NutriAir on her desk for her to bring to the bathroom, but that would just be too mean. Even I can't go that far.
Thanks for letting me vent (pun intended).