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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Killer Babies....


This weekend, Pookie and I (and Carmie....who we found out thinks the so-called "FBI" is a sham) went out and did some holiday shopping.

Where does a New Yorker who really wants to shop go? New Jersey of course! No sales tax on clothing!

While we were at this suburban mega mall, we noticed a common occurance. Babies in strollers being used as weapons! Moms, Dads, Grandparents...it didn't matter. They all used those strollers to clear paths, break up crowds, and generally annoy everyone. All three of us were bumped by strollers on separate occasions during the day. The worst part is that when I went to tell off the asshat that hit me, I turned around to find little Junior staring at me all cute and whatnot. Damn those cute faces! The drivers of these death machines KNOW that when they hit someone, the vicitm will turn around, see the cute kid, and let it go.

No more, I say! From now on, if a stroller hits me, I'm going to haul off and slap the kid. That'll stop them!

Yeah, right....that's in dreamworld. Imagine that! I'd have the cops on me in no time....but a girl can wish, can't she.

Hey, stroller drivers, this one is for you: Be considerate of those of us who care about their ankles! Watch where you push that thing!

6 Comments:

At 10:38 AM, Blogger markus said...

and sometimes there ain't even a baby in those strollers!!

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Liz said...

OH THANK GOD!!! THE BITCHES ARE STILL ALIVE!!! (They just went to New Jersey... which makes me take another second to say, OH THANK GOD!!!! THE BITCHES ARE STILL ALIVE!!!)

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

Well Lord knows they're alive and well in da ATL. Fucking strollers are the best birth control there is. And it's never one stroller. No, its like 50 strollers.

I had to push my sister's stroller while she held the baby in a mall once and I felt like a huge traitor to all my peeps out there, hating strollers with me.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Kelly said...

In defense of the other stroller drivers out there.....
I don't hit people with my stroller. Promise. I actually don't go to the mall when it is "busy season" because of this very reason. Trust me. Most of us drivers know that strollers are a pain in the ass.
But look at it this way:
Either you get wedged away by the SUV stroller or you get booger slimed by a toddler that is on the loose because the parent decided that it was easier to deal with a toddler on the loose than a ginormous stroller.
ps... even though I myself drive a stroller, I too have been hit. And every time it happens I get pissed, shoot a dirty look that is for sure seen. (I don't wipe it off my face til the jerk sees the look.)

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger Marcia said...

I was at a fourth of july concert (the Black Eyed Peas in the park under the Arch in StL.) and there was a guy there pushing a stroller through a throng of people - and there was no where for him to be going - while constantly blowing on the WHISTLE he had in his mouth!

I almost reached out and plucked it from his mouth as he passed. But I figured he would be the kind of guy that would beat up a 100 pound girly-girl, so I didn't.

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL LOL There's no such thing as "the FBI" ..:-) classic
carmie

 

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