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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Oh No You Didn't....

Due to the transit strike and my own pure laziness, I'm working from home today. That means I get to watch TV, smoke anywhere I want, eat whenever I want and have any friends I feel like come over! And I get paid to do this!

I realized this morning that I had really no food to speak of and went out at lunch time for....guess what...pizza, of course!!!!

The place I go to is very small, but gets very crowded. I've had more than a few confrontations at this place because b!tches just don't know how to act.

Today, I ordered a slice and was waiting for it to be heated up. I noticed this man hovering by the crowded counter. He was....very feminine, in a suit and had his hair all gelled up. In other words, I believe he was gay. Whatev, I have no problems with that, but he kept flitting (that's the most accurate description) around.

Finally the pizza guy says, "Stromboli?" Little man said, "Ohhh...that's mine. Here. Me!! Over here!!!!" and prances up beside me to an open spot to get his food from the pizza guy. I, being the courteous person I am, stepped back so he'd have room to leave the area. All he had to do was turn around and go behind me to get to the register.

What did this little Mary do? He turned around. Looked to my left and right and said, "Um, hellllo, I need to get byyyyyyy." in his queer very much overly affected tone.

I said, "Um helllllooo...walk right behind me?"

He paused for a second, rolled his eyes, and then went behind me. But here's the best part:
As he walked by he said, "Get a job!"

I literally laughed out loud. I've never heard someone say that to me and it was just so funny coming from this guy.

I said, "Get a set!" cheerfully.

He turned around and said, "A set of WHAT exactly?" with a big sneer on his face.

"BALLS! You idiot!" Then I really laughed. I fully enjoyed the fact that almost everyone around us was laughing too. Even the pizza guy!

I forgot my phone at home so I couldn't snap this tool's picture, but the attached pic is a close representation.

A set of what? BA HA HA HA HA HA!


At 3:08 PM, Blogger v said...


I need to roll you gals --- you're awesome. The awesomest!

Happy Holidays Kat and Pookie!

At 3:10 PM, Blogger v said...


I need to roll "with" you gals. Though I wouldn't mind rolling you gals either.


Happy Xmas and a Merry New Year!

At 3:25 PM, Blogger Liz said...

That was a totally hot confrontation. I love me some homos, and they love me, but really, that's hot.

How could he have missed what "Get a set!" meant?? I mean crimeny, you gotta be pretty dense to miss that one!

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Pookie said...

Same to you tg8.

Kat you crack me up!!


At 3:41 PM, Blogger Pookie said...

Liz, maybe he thought Kat meant that his shoes weren't matching or something! :o)

At 4:09 PM, Blogger HelpMeBubba said...

The visual of this in my head is priceless!! You've brightened my day once again!!!

At 4:29 PM, Blogger Kat in da Hat said...

tg8, depending on what you're rolling, it might work out. :)

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Marcia said...

Kat, I hate you for working from home today. But I LOVE this story and wish I could "roll you" too.

At 8:08 PM, Blogger mrsbutterz said...

Your stories only get better every day, you can't make this shit up!

At 1:53 AM, Blogger markus said...

get a job? who says that??? nice comeback, kat!

At 8:58 AM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

God. Once again, I renew my vow to live vicariously through you!

:o( <---Me sad for NOT working at home...

At 10:45 AM, Blogger gabsmash said...

MARKUS, i was thinking the same thing...who the hell says that?? good one kat

At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kat you should have bi*ched slapped him for being a f*cking idiot. He can't be a NY'er


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