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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Woah...

This morning I rode the train with a co-worker that I happen to like. We got seats together and chatted it up. A guy got on the train and sat down across from us. He was dressed in a weird outfit (acid washed jeans and a blue and orange lightening striped shirt), but, to each his own I say. I noticed that he had a work ID badge around his neck and it said that he is a New York State social worker, level 1 (I have no idea what that means).

My co-worker and I continue to talk and notice that this guy is kind of freaky. He's making sharp movements and has a paper with him that he keeps trying to keep open with his head! Again, whatever. You know how many freaks there are in this city?

Then, my co-worker whispers, "Um, look at his leg."

He had a HUGE wet spot on his leg and it seriously looked like he peed. Then we saw him take a napkin out of his pocket and start wiping the spot furiously.

"Gross," I said.

Then, as we neared our stop, the guy suddenly hits the newspaper and goes, "I got it mother fvckers! I got ONE!"

He proceeds to take a pen out of his breast pocket (on the lightening shirt) and fills in a crossword puzzle on the paper he was reading.

Then, he jumped up at the next stop (not ours yet) and ran off the train leaving his paper and the wet napkin.

My co-worker is the only one I work with that knows about BOTS (that I know of anyway). After he was gone and the doors closed, she leaned forward to look at the crossword, leaned back, and said, "Woah...get out your phone. This is for BOTS."

I did as she said, wondering what the hell he had written.

The picture is attached. Can you read it? Yeah, it says "sperm".

At least the clue was "microscopic swimmer" so I guess he was right.

And he's a social worker?

17 Comments:

At 10:26 AM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

You and Kat will inevitably have me fired. Reading intently I come across "sperm" as the answer and now my stomach is killing me from laughing, thanks.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

You and Pook, rather -- and, where is she?

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

The scary thing about social work is that there is a percentage of folks in the field who are there because THEY have serious issues that they are trying to self-heal.

Apparently, you encountered one.

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Liz said...

Ok, so this guy was so excited about getting one clue in the crossword that he wet himself? Was it at least the times puzzle?

The fact that the answer was "Sperm" is a highly amusing side note though!

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger M-M-M-Mishy said...

I think the best part of the story is that it looks like that is the only one he got. Lord help his cases. People who require the services of a social worker don't need any more stress than they've already got.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger FatMom said...

I LOVE it! Good one, Kat!

 
At 12:08 AM, Blogger The Beltway B@stard said...

I bet there is Social Worker filing a mugging report at the local police station.

Or was this freak's picture on the ID?

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger daionara said...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

 
At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Kat Sans Hat said...

How come your New York existence is so much more entertaining than mine???!!!

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger blog Portland said...

I so envy all the crazy people you can encounter in NYC. They were sent from above to serve as blog fodder. And organ donors in a pinch.

 
At 10:24 AM, Blogger markus said...

holy shit! that's a hot story!

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger mrsmogul said...

Oh how I miss taking the SUBWAY! CRAZY ! you're making me homesick! First time here!

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger katie-q said...

How are people like that allowed to roam the streets alone???!

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger Virenda said...

Umm...that is some crazy weird shit and pee is gross.

After reading the clue I'm pretty sure crazy dude did get it right.

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger joy said...

LOL, that reminds me of when me and a friend picked up a homeless guy to take him to a chinese buffet, when he got in our car he put out his ciggarette on his leg!

 
At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Slams Q. Abbreviations said...

what happened to your U key?

 
At 7:59 PM, Anonymous Starshine said...

Hahahahaha! That is awesome.

 

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