Off the Wagon

Good morning kiddies. You know, I am a born and bred New York City girl, but sometimes, even I fall off the wagon that is this great city. Life is tough here....take today for example...I'm off the wagon today. Here's how it's been so far:
1. I get up to shower and there's no hot water....again. DAMN that super. He said the water was going off at 9. Not 7!
2. After freezing my bazongas off in the shower, I decided to put on one of my best work outfits. Nothing like looking good to feel good. However, when I got on my train this morning, I got bashed by the closing doors (they're not kidding when they tell you to stand clear!) and now have a lovely black stripe down one of my best jackets!
3. In order to get to work in a timely fashion, I need to transfer trains and catch the express which is across the tracks from the train I'm on first. Today, the express was in the station! With glee, I waited by the door for my train to open and allow me to dash happily to the express. Alas, twas not to be. My train held me hostage and I watched others jump on the express. It took off just as my door opened. Sigh.
4. I finally get to my stop (after waiting like 8 minutes for the next express train...WTF????) and ascend to the street. I headed straight to my favorite bagel shop for breakfast. I place the order I've been placing every day for over a year. "Everything toasted with cream cheese, please." "Sorry, no everything today." I swear, this has never happened to me. So I said, "OK, make it a plain with cream cheese then."
5. I get to my workplace, sit down to eat, and take out my plain bagel.....with butter. Ugh.

So that got me thinking my usual Off the Wagon thoughts....I'm done with this sh!thole. I can't take it. If I lived in Montana or New Mexico, life would be different! If I lived in Montana, I could drive to work. There's no speed limit up there, you know? My commute would be great! Driving 100 mph with no other traffic....maybe a moose or 2 in the road, but no biggie. Hell, if I lived in Montana, I could own a ranch and never even leave my own land!

But.....do they have everything bagels in Montana? And...I'm not much of an outdoorsey girl...maybe a ranch isn't for me...

OK, now the mantra: I love NY, I love NY, I love NY, I love NY, I love NY.....