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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Monday, May 22, 2006

***Watermelon Watch 2006***

Watermelon Lady has a name! I know that I've been slacking on the watermelon lady posts - really it was for lack of pictures. I felt that the posts wouldn't be as good without a picture of her to go along with the story. So anyway, I've said before that I was apprehensive about approaching her and I found out that my fears weren't unwarranted. Instead of talking to the Watermelon Lady herself I quizzed the Starbucks staff in hopes of finding out more about her and let me tell you they were a wealth of information! First of all her name is LINDA! From here on out to be known as Linda the Watermelon Lady (LWL) - she HAS to keep her title. Is she mentally ill? Well that was a topic that was up for debate. Most of the employees seemed to think that she was just a little eccentric while others thought that she was most likely mentally ill and off her meds. In either case - I'm glad I didn't have to talk to her directly if she is off her meds that's not some one I want to deal with! LWL has been frequenting this particular Starbucks for at least the past two years. They said that some times she seems completely normal and other times she shows up with lots of shopping bags which leads them to believe that she may be homeless yet she is always relatively well dressed and clean. She always buys either coffee or a bottle of water. The Starbucks staff was also mystified as to how she gets a watermelon cut with platic utensils but then they told me that the watermelons have only been around for the past two weeks or so - she used to eat WHOLE CHICKENS!! That's right WHOLE CHICKENS not a cornish game hen or a little chicken breast a WHOLE CHICKEN like what you would pick up to feed your entire family.

I would love to find out more information on LWL - just how far is she lugging that watermelon?!? How many trips to the bathroom does she make day?? What will be the next food du jour?? I will continue to post on LWL as I find out more information.


At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Kimbot said...

you should *accidentally* spill something on her watermelon and see what happens.

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Lena said...

Oh, hell. Taking whole foods to a whole new level.

Maybe she actually has mac 'n cheese inside the watermelon. :p

At 10:13 PM, Anonymous lg said...

Ummm...first question,what does she do with the seeds...or are they seedless watermelons?

Second question...Does she carry 'wipes'...for sticky fingers?

Watch out for the shrimp...they may be next on the menu! What will happen when she peels them?

At 10:53 PM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

Pookie you crazy ass. I can't believe you are doing "research" ha ha ha. BTW, thanks for the link. We should have coffee soon.


At 9:33 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

I never realized you could actually take your own food into a starbucks and eat it there.

At 12:31 PM, Blogger Pass me another cold one said...

Well,,she really can't be homeless can she, if she can afford to buy water or coffee especially at a Starbucks right?? Now, were those chickens raw or cooked??

At 3:26 PM, Blogger yllwdaisies said...

If you're eating a watermelon, do you really need a bottle of water? Or any beverage at all, for that matter?

At 9:58 AM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

wonder how many trips to the bathroom that meal generates.

At 11:46 PM, Blogger Kiki said...

I love LWL! I look forward to reading posts about her.

At 4:47 PM, Anonymous e-liz said...

LWL rocks. I really think you need to just sit down and have a chat with this lady. Really get LWL out in the open.


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