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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Well that's what I should have said to this asshole but this BOTS was tired and on some foreign form of transportation known as a ferry! You see I had to go and visit a friend of mine who had the nerve to move out of NYC. Take the ferry she said, it's so easy! You can walk to my new place from there. Ummm well ok....so I did. I found the ferry, paid a hefty (well it was more than my usual $2 subway ride) fare and settled myself into a seat. I immediately pulled out my book and started reading. Now usually I would also use my ipod to drown out the surronding sounds but being the overworked grunt that I am, I was so tired when I got home last night that I completely forgot to charge it and there was no battery power left. So I'm reading and this completely obnoxious looking guy sits across from me. I took one look at his face and KNEW I was in trouble. He was sitting with a friend of his who was more interested in texting other people than listening to him and I can't say that I blame her. Before the ferry even pulled out some one's cell phone started ringing. And now I hear him saying in a low, sing-songy voice "Telephone, telephone, telephone, some one pick up the phone" After about two rings the phone was answered and yet he continued on.."Telephone, telephone, telephone, some one pick up the phone". I peered over my book at him and gave him my best "shut the fvck up asshole" look. And amzingly it silenced him....for about a minute. Some one in the next row over was talking a little loudly on the phone "Yes honey, I'll be home in time for dinner" The asshole starts, in his same low sing-songy voice "Yes honey, yes honey, yes honey". Now I'm starting to think that I'm the only one who hears him and he's doing it specifically to torture me! It was just the kind of day that I had. Finally his friend starts talking to him.....peace for a few minutes! That is until she goes back to texting....Any snippet of conversation that he picked up on he turned into one of his little songs! One of the kids next to us was talking about kickin' it with his girl...oh come on you know what's coming by now.... "Kickin' it, kickin' it, kickin' it" OMG it was driving me out of my mind. I really thought I was going to lose it right then and there! I thought to myself I am going to spend the night in jail because I have to shove something in this man's mouth to shut him up and really the only choice was my fist!

So I did the responsible thing...I got up to move to another part of the boat. Of course this meant that I would have to stand the rest of the way but really what choice did I have? As I was gathering my stuff, I knew that I had to get a pic of this guy for my post. I tried to be discreet but I was totally caught! And that, my fellow bloggers, is why there is only a picture of his feet!


At 11:20 PM, Blogger GetFlix said...

The Full Worm Moon has us all on edge.

At 2:36 AM, Blogger Leisa said...

LOVE it. sorry you had to endure that but i LOVE it.

At 9:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's what it was the full moon.. all the a**holes were out. Next time step on his/her toes when u walk by..oops excuse me :-) and don't forget the I'm not sorry smile, they get it!

At 12:34 PM, Blogger gabsmash said...

"of his feet".."of his feet".."of his feet"..sorry had to! I dont know how the hell you guys make it- i would be arrested daily

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Virenda said...

OMG, I am so proud of you for NOT attacking him with your book or screaming at him, HOW F'ing annoying, I mean was he mentally stable or just an idiot? He might have been crazy....

I SO SO love your camera phone. It makes me happy and really adds to your stories lol. NEVER EVER leave home without it.

At 2:45 AM, Anonymous Sean said...

u really crazk me up...i love the no shit attitude...i read u all the time, im glad ppl are nicer here in louisiana, i would be in jail! :)

At 11:59 AM, Blogger DIAMONDKT said...

Good Lord! You have some torturous commutes. I feel for ya.

(torturous, torturous - sing songy voice) KIDDING. That man was annoying!

At 1:27 PM, Blogger Cyber Mule said...


That's actually really funny.

He must work in the stock market, like myself. A real "American Pyscho".

See, the problem is, a bad day in the market will make someone feel like they have to be a prick to people around them.

I'm in Boston.. ... I want to move to NYC. You guys crack me up.

At 3:35 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

EWWWW even his shoes just sCREAM annoying ferry asshole.



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