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B!tch on the Street

Days and nights in New York City are tough enough without having to deal with all the sh!t this city dishes up. B!tch on the Street tells the tale of two ladies making their way through this crazy town...one freak at a time.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Pole Hog

It is ass biting, nose-hair-freezing cold in NYC today. I left my apartment and got to the train station in record time! Nothing like 10F weather to get my ass moving. So anyway, I got to the train station and amazingly enough, a train pulls up just as I get to the platform. Not only that but this train is relatively empty - Christmas miracle? Now by relatively empty I mean all the seats were taken but there was plenty of room for people to stand. I was standing at the center pole and this bitch gets on at the next stop and she grabs onto the same pole as me. I'm just minding my own business reading my book. Next thing I know the bitch turns around and is leaning against the pole - leaning against MY HAND! It's early in the morning and my mind is still a little fuzzy, so I just try moving my hand around so she knows that she's leaning on my hand - nothing! The bitch just would NOT move. So now I say "Excuse me" and.....she doesn't even so much as glance in my direction! Now I'm really pissed. So I tap her with the hand that isn't trapped under her bulk - "EXCUSE ME". She finally turns around and I say "would you mind not leaning on my hand?" She didn't even respond!! Then I lost it. " Hello - get the fvck off my hand!" She then turns around, looks at me and says "Look I'm tired". Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were tired. Then by all means just lean on my hand! BITCH! Thank god at that moment a seat opened up and you know this BOTS just about killed herself beating that bitch to the seat! Normally I wouldn't care because I don't have all that far to go. She was giving me the look of death and I looked up and said "Thank god a seat opened up I'm soooo tired!" Don't fvck with a BOTS before she's had her morning coffee - BITCH!

9 Comments:

At 1:41 PM, Blogger Liz said...

Pookie, I feel your pain!

When I read that you actually said "Oh thank god a seat opened up... I'm SOOOOO tired!" I almost pissed myself!

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger v said...

HAH!

That was HIGH-larious.

You go Pook-meister.

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Kelly said...

Don't you just love what morning b!tchy-ness can do to you?
hahahahahaha!

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger markus said...

i hate pole hogs!

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

Hah! I think I will start living vicariously through you, winning arguments with all of the ho-bags you encounter!

 
At 6:36 PM, Blogger Slutbag said...

thats awesome. you have much more restraint than i - i would have bitchslapped her, then taken the seat.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger Pookie said...

I thought about the bitchslap but I was much more intent on getting that seat!

Mornings are so NOT my thing!

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Anhoni Patel said...

I love NY.

 
At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh pook and i think you're such a delight in the morning..lol lol lol
carmie

 

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